Wednesday, December 7, 2011

For my Dad on his Birthday.

To My Dad - THANKS for Everything
[[These words aren't mine, but they are from a book I found. They explain exactly how I feel as if I wrote it myself.]]

You're the type of dad who's not a type at all.

You re not just a sports fan or a disciplinarian or a goofball; you're so many things on any given day. And I realize now that your complexity has given me permission to be the same - to be as many different versions of me as I need to be.

You supported me. You challenged me.

Whenever I have a choice to make, I know you'll back me up. But I also know you'll help me think it through. You're not afraid to ask the tough questions. To make me dig deeper. To make me think... And whether I stand fast or change my mind, I'm always more certain of myself in the end. You're a tough crowd, Dad. If I can convince you, I can convince anybody!

You pushed me. You praised me.

You've always wanted the best for your family, and that meant being the best you can be. I learned this from you, Dad. Sometimes it meant I had to practice a little harder, study a little more, get up a little earlier... or stay up a little late. Sometimes it meant you didn't let me quit. But even when I felt defeated, you cheered me on. You always made me feel like my best was good enough. And to this day, it is the reason I strive to make my best even better.

You made me cautious, and you made me courageous.

The world outside isn't always polite or well-meaning; you knew that. You gave me rules for a reason, and now I understand they weren't to keep me bored. They were to keep me safe. When the time came for me to face some things on my own, I wasn't afraid. You taught me to trust my gut, honor my own opinion, and to stand up for myself. Once in a while, that meant standing up to you. What can I say? You're a better teacher than you know.

You made me self-sufficient, and you made me humble.

From the first time I insisted "I can do it" you let me try things on my own. It couldn't have been easy, watching me figure things out - sometimes with no training wheels, no instructions, no compass. But you knew Id find my way. You trusted me, and that helped me trust myself. There were times when i couldn't do it alone, and you taught me that sometimes the best thing I can do for myself is to ask someone for help.

You showed me how to earn my keep.

You made sure I understood that life doesn't owe me anything, and whatever I want I have to work for. But you also made me see that there can be joy in the work itself. And it feels better to earn something than to have it given to me. I know how to give my all to the task at hand. You're the reason I take so much pride in my work - no matter how big or small a job may be.

You showed me how to laugh it off.

Take life seriously. But don't take yourself too seriously. That's a message you live loud and clear. I learned alot about balance from watching you. You showed me that work and home are both important, and while it cant always be exactly 50/50, I don't have to sacrifice one for the other. When there was work to do, you gave every challenge you best - you were accountable. Sometimes you were stressed, but you tried not to bring it home with you. I guess that's what it means to "leave it on the field." When you came home, we cracked jokes and played games. We relaxed a little, laughed a lot, and everybody felt better - no matter what happened during the day. That's why I know how important it is to have fun.

You taught me about family.

Sometimes we fight with each other; sometimes we fight for each other. And we're about as quick to publicly brag as we are to privately criticize. We laugh and cry, play and work, and make a million memories in between. That's what families do. Family amplifies the good stuff and helps drown out the bad. We share it all - sometimes too much. And even when the medium is messy, the message is clear: "I do this because I love you."

You taught me about love.

If all we needed was love, then life would be alot easier. But love wont get very far without respect, understanding, humility, and a good sense of humor. For us, love is honest opinions and the occasional "I told you so." Its doing without expecting anything in return. Love is sometimes giving in but never giving up. Love is doing most of the work and not taking any of the credit. Love is letting me figure it out on my own. The way we love is not for the faint of heart, and its made me a stronger person. I know how to show love for others, and I know how to love myself. I have you to thank for that. So maybe you didn't give me everything I ever wanted, but you gave me more than you know. I don't know who Id be without you, Dad, but I probably wouldn't be as funny or focused, as humble or hardworking, as careful or confident. And I don't know what life will bring next, but I'm pretty sure I can handle it, thanks to lessons I learned when I didn't even know I was listening. Thanks to you.