My Own Worst Critic


I had a mini freakout moment yesterday.

This week is preview week for my online college class. I was all excited and logged on eager to see what I would be learning about. I opened the syllabus and froze. There is so much to do! A bazillion projects and journal entries and on and on.

I panicked.
I haven't been in school for over 6 years.
What made me think I could do this?
I'm going to fail.

I hollered for my husband and he came into my office. I must have had the panic written all over my face because he immediately asked me what was wrong. When I got done explaining everything, he looked at me and said
"You can do this, I believe in you. You are smart and you will do great. You are way too hard on yourself"

This got me thinking.
Why am I so hard on myself?
Why is it that the minute I think something will be hard I immediately convince myself I can't do it?
I've never really failed at anything to make my brain think these things.
But for some reason I lack confidence in myself.
So I prayed for the Lord to help me.

And you know what I have found out?
I am even more determined to do well in this class.
And every other class I'll be taking.
The lack of confidence that I saw as such a bad thing has actually driven me more to succeed.
I am ready for this.
I want to learn and succeed.

I'm taking a step towards a more confident Lyndsay. And do you want to know something else? I downloaded my book and the first chapter is about personal growth and change. Coincidence? I think not.

All My Love,

Lyndsay