A lesson of love..

With all of the divorces, infidelity, and just plain bad hype surrounding love and relationships lately, its really had me thinking about what it takes to make a relationship work. I have a wonderful marriage, not only is he the man of my dreams, he is my best friend. Ryan and I both grew up in a two parent household. My parents love for each other was one of the biggest influences in my life. When Ryan and I found each other, we knew it was that once in a lifetime kind of love, just like our parents have. I don’t consider myself an expert by any means, but I thought I would share with you what I think makes a relationship work, and its things that not only Ryan and I go by, but advice I have given to friends in time of need or troubles.

Be romantic. Whenever a relationship starts to fail, the lack of romance is one of the first indicators. Its natural for people to get complacent and forget the fun things they used to do when they first got together. Ryan and I celebrate not only our wedding anniversary, but the anniversary of the day we started dating, and the day we got engaged. They were important events in our life together, and remembering them gives us those butterflies we used to get. We go out and do something we don't normally do, it's new and exciting. We also set a night aside every week (if our work schedules will allow it) and go on a date night. It's not always something fancy, sometimes its just going for a walk somewhere, or going to place we haven’t been for a while.

Always be honest. There is not one single relationship that will succeed in the long run if built on a lie. Even if your partner never finds out the truth, the fact you know you lied will affect you feelings for them and yourself. Now, fibs are acceptable only if its to cover a surprise, like a diamond ring or other sort of gift you don’t want them to know about until the perfect time. =]

Don’t do things just to make your partner happy. Every time you compromise yourself in that way, you could start to resent them. Sit down and explain to them that you don’t feel good about certain things and work on an alternative, or a happy medium as Ry and I say, together. This could also fall under the being honest part. Don’t be a hypocrite either and ask your partner to do things you know they don’t want to do. As my dad would say, it's a two way street.

Don’t belittle you partner. Everyone makes mistakes in life and everyone works or catches on at different speeds. If you spend your time nagging at your partner or putting them down about every little thing they do wrong, then how can you expect them to do anything right? I see a lot of this where I work, people placing financial blames on their spouse, in front of us and then making comments about them. Just makes me mad! If it were the other way around, and you were the one making a mistake, you would want a little understanding, right?

Always be there for your partner. After God, nothing is more important in your life than your partner. Friends come and go, but your partner is with you for the whole journey. If they are in trouble or need you, nothing else matters, other than to be there for them. I am very set in my ways and I do things a certain way, and I feel strongly about of lot of things, and though Ryan may not understand or agree, he backs me up 100%. And to know that I have his support, I can't fail.

Communicate. Things change in a relationship almost on a daily basis. Chances are you don't work at the same place as your spouse, so you are not together for 10-12 hours a day, talking to different people, experiencing different things. If you don’t talk to your partner you could very easily wake up one day ad find you have drifted apart and cant bridge the gap. I like to sit down every evening and ask "How was your day?" and I listen, even though in Ryan’s line of work I don’t know what he’s talking about half the time, I listen. If he's had a bad day, the fact that he can come home, tell me about it and get it off his chest, makes him feel better, and we don’t have that negative energy getting in the way of our "us" time.

And last but not least, have fun with each other! Ryan and I are the biggest dorks. We joke, wrestle, chase each other, and pick on each other. If you were to hide out side our house and peak in and listen to us you'd think we were crazy. But we get each other, we have fun, and its never boring. I love my husband, he's my best friend. He was my friend before he was ever my boyfriend, fiancé, or husband... and I think that makes for the best kind of relationship. ♥